


Burn

by twasnoti



Category: Fire Emblem: If | Fire Emblem: Fates
Genre: Angst, Gen, Inspired by "Burn" from Hamilton because, Post-Conquest, Sakura-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 00:37:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6448540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twasnoti/pseuds/twasnoti
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's quiet after the war.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Burn

**Author's Note:**

> I procrastinated on a very important essay to write this god dammit.  
> I was listening to the Hamilton soundtrack and this song is just so sad and for some reason I just wanted to write a fic inspired by it. Of course it's very loosely based on the song, but still.
> 
> The only real good thing about Rev. as the ending because the endings to Conquest and Birthright are both horribly sad in their own way. I've seen a few fics about post-birthright Leon and maybe one about post-conquest Hinoka(?) so i decided to write about Sakura.  
> I think she'd probably be pretty traumatized after the war and very off-center emotionally. This might be a bit OOC though, I'm sorry if it is.

_ Sakura tries to forgive _

 

It was quiet after the war. Not in the same way that it had been before. Not the peaceful silence in which she confided with Takumi over parties and panic attacks and picnics and poetry. Not the suspenseful silence in which Ryouma told to her stories of heros and heroines and of father and  _ them.  _

 

It’s a deafening silence. 

 

It’s the silence of a half-empty palace It’s the silence of the clear palace waters curling sadly at the loss of its once constant visitor. It’s the silence of the busy streets and the starlight festivals and the singing and the dancing and the…

 

It’s her own silence. It’s her silence as she watches as her sister is take upon a weighted crown that belonged to their deceased brother and mother and father. It’s her silence as Elise and her family returned to Nohr and her only other sibling leaving with them. 

 

It’s her silence as she lets them leave.

It’s not like she would know what to say anyway. 

 

\-----

 

She tries to keep in touch with Corrin after the war. They exchange letters. She doesn’t quite  know  what to say in them. She’s never been good at knowing what to say. In their letters Corrin recounts tales of her antics with their siblings back in Nohr and how the war relief effort is going and how everything is  _ fine and dandy and the only thing that would make them happier is if Sakura and Hinoka were there with them. _

 

_ “You lost the right to be with us when you lef _ _ t”  _

_ “You lost the right to be with us when  they died” _

 

She writes to them how much she and Hinoka miss them. It’s not a lie. She does miss them. She misses someone who she only knew in stories from her dead brother and people who sing their name in praise and contempt on both sides and in war and death and in small, fleeting moments of wonder and happiness and awe. 

 

Sometimes they send her torn parchment paper dotted with small stains and in the smell of wine and sweat covered with almost illegible, crazed writings about Mikoto, about Ryouma, about Azura, about _Takumi._

 

She doesn’t reply back to those letters. 

_ How dare you _

 

_ They’re dead and it’s your... _

 

_ You’ve no right to… _

 

It’s not like she would know what to say, anyway.

 

_ This is all your fault _

\------

 

With Hinoka busy as the new Queen of Hoshido, Sakura turns to Elise for support. Despite her childishness, Elise understands. 

If there was anything good about the war it was that it brought them together. She tells her almost everything. She writes small, dainty paragraphs sewn together with loneliness and need. Elise doesn’t ask why, instead she sends her pressed flowers and candies and books and gifts of all kinds. 

 

She tells Elise  _ almost _ everything.

_ Almost _

 

Sometimes she finds herself so overwhelmed with anguish that she her  can’t hold a pen straight. Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night in hysterical fits of crying and screaming that the whole palace can hear. Hana and Tsubaki calm her down with gentle words and gestures and they draw her a cold bath and spend the rest of the night with her in silence.

 

By morning the incident is forgotten and she’s once again the kind and happy younger sister of Queen Hinoka. Hinoka never mentions it, but she’s sure that her sister writes  _ them  _ about it and sets up meetings and reunions for her sake. 

She doesn’t protest. She can’t protest when she see’s the weariness in her sister’s eyes and the tiredness in her voice. She doesn’t protest because she needs it. They both need it.

 

\----

She hides out most days with Elise during their visits. She’s too occupied with when she’s with Elise to feel sad. They spend their days having tea parties they’re too old for and wandering through the hoshidan gardens and the underground streets of Nohr where everyone is kind and happy to see her in a way much like the streets of Hoshido before the war. 

She looks forward most to their mini-duets. She clutches onto music like a lifeline, like it’s the only thing she has left of  _ Azura  _ and Takumi who used to sing to her to calm her down whenever she panicked or cried. 

 

She cries a lot during those sessions. 

Elise knows what to say to make her feel better. Elise always knows what to say. She envies her for that.

\----

She hates the pity in King Xander and Prince Leo’s eyes whenever they see her. She hates how much they remind her of her Ryouma and Takumi as if they were twisted parodies of things that once made her happy. 

 

She hates Princess Camilla’s doting on Hinoka and herself. She hates how she talks to them in sweet tones and kinds words underlined with a certain smugness every time she mentions _ Corrin.  _ How Corrin is doing, what Corrin has done, how they should talk to Corrin more because it would them happy and  _ Corrin, Corrin, Corrin… _

 

She hates Corrin. 

She hates them all.

She hates how well they fit together as a family, like they were meant to be that way. 

 

She  _ hates them, hates them, hates them! _

 

\----

In Nohr they sing songs about Corrin. They sing songs about how Corrin who stayed loyal to their family and their country freed them off their mad king to bring about a new way, better way of living. They sing about how Corrin “persuaded” the peace treaty with Hoshido from which they could suck out a thousand resources and never run dry. They sing about they bravely fought “Dragon King” and “Demon Prince” of Hoshido.

 

Corrin never corrects them. Corrin never tries to defend Hoshido. Corrin never tries to defend her brothers. 

It hurts her the most when they sing along with them. She sees how  much it hurts them, though. 

She can’t bring herself to feel sorry for them.

 

\----

Some nights the hatred finally reaches its peak and she erupts into silent sobs that keep her awake when the whole world is asleep.

 

She desperately wants to destroy Corrin. She wants to remove them from her life as if it would bring back her brothers and life would go back to the way it was before.

She finds herself sitting with in a dim candle light trying to burn away Corrin’s letters in a feeble attempt to get rid of any time they made her happy. She burns them as if it will take some sort of happiness away from Corrin who's a whole country away.

 

When she’s finally found herself again, she salvages what she can. She folds half burned letters and slips them back into their designated drawer and blow out the candle as if it never happened. 

 

\----

Some time after the war Hinoka and Xander finally establish an annual celebration as a sign of their continued peace. It’s first one and nobody's quite sure what to do. They find common ground among eating and singing and dancing and drinking.

 

She has a little too much to drink that night and it leaves her loose tongued and defenseless in a way that contrast her usual shy, guarded personality.

She’s talking to Corrin, constantly slurring out words that she herself can’t distinguish. She looks at them and the alcohol has blurred the line between wanting to hug them or hit them. 

 

The night grows old and Corrin, like a good older siblings (as if they were her old sibling) takes her hand and slowly leads her away from the party and to her quarters where she can sleep off her drunkenness.

 

She talks to more that night than she had to them over the past few years. They let her talk on and on and give acknowledging laughs and smiles as they listen. 

Sometimes they talk back. 

 

“I wish Takumi, Ryouma, and Azura could have been here,” they say it softly, looking down at their bare feet, “I miss them. I know you miss them too.”

 

Sakura has no control over the words that spew from her mouth, or the hatred that lines them. 

 

_ “Don’t say that!” _

 

Corrin stops suddenly and looks at her in shock. 

 

“Don’t say that you miss them. Y-you don’t miss them! Not really. You miss being  _ free  _ of them!”

 

“Sakura, I-”

  
“No! You don’t have have the  _ right  _ to them! What gives you the right to be _ happy?  _ You...you destroyed my family and yet you...why do you get to be happy with them.  _ Why did you choose them over us!” _

 

“Sakura, please-”

  
“This….this...this is all your fault! If you had just...if you had just…I hope…,” she searches for the word that’s been sitting on the tip of her tongue for years, “I hope you  _ burn.” _

_ I hope that you have everything taken from you just like you took everything from me. _

 

She feels exhaustion wash over her. Her legs fall beneath her and Corrin catches her, their grip unsure around her back. Hot tears run down her face and she feels a mixture of disgust at her own words and relief that a weight she had been carrying for years had finally been lifted from her soul. She chokes down sobs that burn the back of her throat and looks down in shame. 

 

“I’m sorry, I….I don’t know what...quite came over me. I’m….”

 

She feels Corrin’s hesitant pull her into a hug as if they’re worried she’ll pull away. They hush gently and tell her it’s  _ ok  _ and  _ I’m sorry _ . She sobs into their chest and clings to them as they rub gently rub her back in a calming motion and she realizes that in this moment they were more like siblings than they ever had been before. 

 

They stay like that until Sakura calms down. Emotions that had been with her for years leave her body with her tears in the matter on an hour.

 

All that’s left between them now are quiet murmurs of forgiveness and a bunch of broken  _ what-ifs _ that become a renewed sense of reality. Afterward Corrin guides her back to her room and lays her down and sits down beside her in the silence of the night.

 

For the first time in a long time, Sakura feels at peace in the quiet. 

 


End file.
